Haul Away, Álvarez

FC Barcelona submitted a €100 million offer for Julián Álvarez. Atlético Madrid rejected it without deliberation. A second offer of €120 million followed. Also rejected. A proposed meeting between Barcelona, Álvarez's agent, and Atlético was requested. Atlético rejected the meeting too.

Álvarez wants to go to Barcelona. Atlético says he is not for sale. Their price, when pressed: approximately €150 million. Arsenal and PSG are watching from a distance.

This is the source material for Episode 9 of Wrong Genre.

It has been performed as a traditional 19th-century working sea shanty — earnest call-and-response, full male crew, squeeze-box accordion, bodhran, stomping deck boots, fiddle. The transfer negotiations are treated as the most consequential maritime labor in the history of sailing. No winks. No irony. Only the hauling.

[Intro] Way haul away, we'll haul away together Way haul away, haul away Joe

[Verse 1] Barcelona sent one hundred million euros Way haul away, haul away Joe Atlético Madrid said the player is not for sale, boys Way haul away, haul away Joe

[Chorus] Heave and haul, the bid is in the water Heave and haul, we pull against the tide One hundred million sank beneath the current One hundred twenty million likewise died

[Verse 2] They sent a second offer, twenty million higher Way haul away, haul away Joe Atlético said no and blocked the meeting Way haul away, haul away Joe

[Chorus] Heave and haul, the bid is in the water Heave and haul, we pull against the tide The player wants the Blaugrana with his whole heart But one hundred fifty holds the other side

[Bridge] Arsenal watches from the harbor (Haul away!) Paris Saint-Germain stands at the bow (Haul away!) Atlético holds fast to every fathom (Way haul away, haul away Joe) One hundred fifty million is their vow! (One hundred fifty!)

[Final Chorus] Heave and haul, the bid is in the water Heave and haul, we pull against the tide The player is not for sale — we are happy Haul away, Álvarez, haul away, Joe

#WrongGenre